Friday, February 8, 2008

Vas deferens

Attn: Imaginary readers

Subj: Headings

If a blog subject heading refers to or is named after a component of the reproductive system, please be advised that the following blog will contain particularly vulgar sexual references. If such references are troublesome to you, please refer to the subject heading before continuing to read. If such references are appealing to you, then Goddamnit, subscribe to my fucking blog. Such topics can appear at anytime, can be very salacious, and oftentimes quite comical. Wouldn't wanna miss that, now would you?Thank you. And with that having been said, on to the posting. I love you too, fuckers.

John Fogarty's "Rock 'n' Roll Girls" is an excellent song. Of course, John Fogarty only has one song really, but it's a damn fine song. While musing upon this, I noticed that the song that was following it on the radio was the Eric Clapton "Unplugged" version of "Layla." I remember that this song was playing during my first ever sexual experience. I was in the 8th grade. In my hometown, the local Methodist church held dances after every home football game. I was at one of these dances with a new girlfriend. I sought this girl out because she was a known slut, and I was pretty mercenary about such things at the time, being fourteen years old and ready to step up from masturbation. You know how that goes. Anyway, me and this little tart were sitting against the wall in the gymnasium, and she asked me to finger her. "Huh?" I said, as I was unaware of the term. She enlightens me. "Put your fingers in my pussy." That I understood. So I did. After a minute, she says, "You're supposed to move it around, asshole." So I did. Then she tells me to add more fingers, all the way up to four. Although I didn't know what the hell "fingering" was, even I thought that four was a bit much. More than should be possible with a girl my age, at least. But, like I said, she was a slut, so you get what you pay for. A few days or weeks later, I had my first sexual intercourse with this same girl. Right after we broke up. We screwed several times after that, always immediately following a break-up. Odd, that. "Hey, let's go, all over the world, Rock 'n' Roll girls."

2 comments:

Halcyon said...

What exactly qualifies a girl as a slut?

Unknown said...

Slut \ˈslət\ Slut is a pejorative term for a person (usually female) who is more sexually promiscuous than is socially acceptable. The term has traditionally been applied to women and is generally used as an insult or offensive term of disparagement.

en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Slut